What is freedom? The space to be exactly who you are knowing you won’t be judged as ‘wrong’. The freedom to be seen, heard, accepted even if it’s different to others, and be living your truth. We live in a world of right and wrong. Good and bad. Harmony exists when everyone follows the rules. Does what’s expected. It isn’t necessarily your best or what you want.
“You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” — John 8:32
What is truth? Your perception of it based on your unique beliefs, understanding, knowledge, and experience. What if your truth doesn’t fit the socially accepted norms where you live? Within your own family? How do you find a way to speak, and live your truth knowing you may be criticized or judged harshly, misunderstood, have anger, or disappointment thrown your way?
We are all living along a spectrum of love on one side and fear on the other. Love will lead to constructive, joyful experiences, fear to destructive, unpleasant ones with infinite variations in between. When you live in the world seeing people as ‘good and bad’ or ‘right and wrong’, you hold the wand of judgment, which lives in fear, and prevents you and others from experiencing the freedom to be who you are.
The 8 Steps to Living Your Truth
1. Let go of judging yourself. Accept, and love yourself for exactly who you are. If you feel not good enough, unworthy or not measuring up, you are making yourself wrong, and believing this lie. Instead, believe that you deserve to be accepted and loved. It is true no matter who you are, what you’ve said or done. Doesn’t mean you don’t have things to learn and grow from – we all do, nor does it mean not taking 100% responsibility for any destructive thoughts you choose to think. Affirm, and believe “I deserve, and am worthy of experiencing what creates real joy in my life, and am doing my best.” Extend that affirmation to everyone else.
2. Let go of judging others. If you feel stressed, anger, resentment, disappointment by what others say and do, it’s a strong sign you are judging someone as ‘wrong’. You feel a need to correct, convince, control or change someone (my 4 C’s), which also prevents finding forgiveness. You are not responsible for what others say and do – they are. Everyone can only do their best in any given moment. You can teach, model, share, give relevant consequences, but punishing, and condemning is the destructive force of judgment (attached to ‘being right’) that leads to contempt, hatred, resentment, separateness, and conflict.
3. Become aware of the ‘right and wrong’ in the family/social network you grew up. Some of the socially accepted values, expectations, and beliefs in your current circle of family and friends may not serve your happiness. Shifting to the side of love requires breaking out of the box you were born into to follow your own truth for what matters to you. Do you find yourself compromising (i.e. putting up with, suffering silently, or tolerating) to follow what’s expected, or what you should do or believe? Instead, know your own truth – what values are being stepped that creates any stress you feel? Limit the ever-present media, which silently programs everyone else’s ideas of how you should be, and what you should fear into your mind. Look within, and be able to answer: Who are YOU?
4. Know the values you are willing to stand up for. True intimacy, trust, unconditional love, non-judgment, authenticity, vulnerability, compassion, understanding, and growth are my core values. I will stand up for these no matter what. Even if I have to walk away, change old thinking, step into what I’m most afraid of, and be vulnerable. The quality of the relationships in my life share these values. I cannot buy them, nor can I change anyone to be them. I simply live them so I end up attracting them, and won’t compromise. What are yours? Stand by them.
5. Understand what living from Fear Vs. Love FEELS like. Guilt, a need to control, and an inability to trust is living from fear. Having expectations that someone should change if they really loved you is fear-based. People can only change for themselves, which may have a positive or negative impact on you based on your values. If someone’s values are destructive, and create disharmony, you may need to walk away. Fear holds a sense of competition instead of cooperation, entitlement instead of giving, doubt instead of trust.
Love feels grounded, brings an inner connection to the spirit of “God” within that connects us all as ONE humanity. There is an inner peace, calmness, flow with love. When you live in fear, you are disconnected from this place, and cannot see clearly. Your ego takes over, and prevents choosing wisely. There is drama with fear, but a healthy disruption when you can break the barriers towards your highest self.
6. Understand where YOU live on the Fear Vs. Love spectrum. Begin making shifts to continuously move away from judgment, and toward love. Notice, and let go of using the word ‘should’ with people as this often indicates you making yourself or someone else wrong. Do you feel guilt, resentment, ill-will, and react with inner anger much of the time? Or do you feel compassionate, calm, an inner peace, and trust no matter what outer turmoil swirls around you? Do you see a world filled with good or evil people, or a world full of human beings living in fear or love all essentially wanting the same thing?
7. Notice where OTHERS live on the Fear Vs. Love spectrum. You will be reluctant to share your truth with those who live in fear unless you want criticism, judgment, and their fears (worry, control, correcting, convincing) projected onto you. Distance yourself from those you cannot be authentic with, and surround yourself with those who nourish, support, and champion you. Those living from love will be able to hear you, want your happiness with no need to change you. Their opinion is valuable – test it against your own for clarity of what you believe.
8. Trust Yourself. Listen to your own voice in the stillness when you have removed everyone else’s ‘shoulds’ from your mind. Your higher self lives from love, and along with faith in something bigger than yourself (many call God or the Universe), it brings a clarity, and confidence you alone can stand in. It can feel isolating as few live in this space, but it is not lonely for it holds the power to create exactly what you want, and you’ll attract like-minds who give you the strength to create magical moments every day in your life.
When you are aligned with Universal Truth, you will experience eternal love, the lightness of inner peace, and profound joy. Everything else is an imitation on some level, and will be fleeting or exist in a state of harmony without spiritual growth, where something may feel missing, or empty.
When you follow your heart’s desires, not the surface wants of what money can buy or the trappings of fame, but your unique gifts, passion, and soul calling, you will discover your own truth. You will face obstacles that show up to test it. There will be rough waters to navigate, emotional turmoil to wade through. This is the path towards fulfillment, meaning, true happiness. It is you rediscovering your light.
It’s here you will experience true freedom, and a love so profound waiting for you.
