Kindness is under-rated. It almost feels boring.
But what often gets overlooked came shining through in the Tony award winning musical “Come From Away”: that unmistakable feeling of kindness my girls and I came away with was over the top last weekend.
What Happened in Newfoundland during 9-11
It’s based on the true story of 6,700 passengers stranded for 3 days in the town of Gander, Newfoundland (population 10,000) when thousands of aircrafts were instructed to land immediately during the 9-11 attacks emptying the skies.
Something remarkable happened in this little Canadian town that made headlines around the world – because it didn’t happen anywhere else.
People went beyond being nice to strangers – this entire town went into unheard of hospitality. Passengers were invited into homes, supplies, laundry, and meals were provided as well as desperately needed phones (mobiles weren’t prevalent back in 2001).
This home grown musical debuted in 2012 at Sheridan College just 10 minutes from my home, and got me reflecting big time on kindness.
In our ever increasing world of technology, and innovation, it seems like we’re not keeping up with fundamental values of humanity when kindness has to be practiced in spurts of “pay it forward”, and mindfulness techniques.
We’re constantly being reminded to slow down, and focus on what matters most.
It’s why this little town stood out like a beautiful sore thumb.
Suddenly everything stopped, and strangers were thrown together for better or for worse. In this warm-hearted town with so many in need, it seemed like a bright light at the end of a tunnel.
It’s like we’re hungering for kindness in a world where too many people feel isolated than connected. It makes you wonder:
- What would you have done to help in your hometown?
- How would you have reacted if you suddenly found yourself stranded for days with strangers?
In my neighbourhood, I don’t stop in wicked winter storms to offer rides to strangers I see struggling on the sidewalk to get home. I’m focused on getting my own kids safely home.
I live in a world where offering a needed ride to a stranger just isn’t done anymore, but this particular story pushes me to think a little more kindly, and reach out to ask.
Terror Hits My Hometown
Hope and despair seem to go hand in hand as if to remind me “be kind, but be careful!” 2 weeks ago, a different unthinkable terror happened close to home. A van sped down a busy sidewalk killing 10 people, and seriously injuring another 15.
It happened 15 minutes from the home I grew up in, and 5 minutes from my first position out of University articling as an accountant where I met my husband. I was just at this same corner with all my family over the Christmas holidays to see my niece play a string solo at the nearby Centre for the Performing Arts.
It felt so close to home that I could feel the tears rising up even though I didn’t know any of the victims. We can get so de-sensitized to the onslaught of daily tragedies listening to the news that I’ve found myself limiting it drastically over the years.
I don’t want to go numb. I still want to feel. I found out about this horrifying event being notified on facebook when a friend marked herself ‘safe’.
Thousands came together to write handwritten notes. A #TorontoStrong fund has been set up for victims, and their families, which has also surpassed $1.5M. Kindness surfaces in the face of horror with signs reminding us not to hate.
Believing in the Power of Kindness
A part of me struggled with how to prevent a seemingly mentally ill college student from wanting to run down innocent people. Was it preventable? Are any of these acts of terror that appear to be escalating preventable?
I’d like to believe if we had communities that fostered more kindness, and understanding that somehow these tragic events could disappear. Cooperation instead of competition. Unity instead of divisiveness. Rehabilitation instead of punishment.
Life choices being less driven by money, and more driven by a deep knowing that we are all connected.
Being Kind Requires Effort
I happened to be listening to Oprah’s Soul Conversations podcast with visionary scholar, Jean Houston recently.
I noticed that Jean described her parents as being kind, which Oprah noted as a “generous thing to say” as if kindness is this rare quality we’re slowly losing touch with.
I too, was fortunate enough to grow up with kind parents, but it is a conscious effort to stand up for! I remind my girls not to flip into nastiness when their personalities clash over the little stuff. Conflict is inevitable, but how you treat someone matters.
I am excited for my son who’s starting a brand new integrated humanities and business program in the fall – that it even exists now.
I’m secretly ecstatic that my teens are nice to each other most of the time : )
Kindness Pays Off
Kindness is the heart of building trust, and respect. Where I can give it, lasting connections have flourished. Just as they did in Newfoundland with total strangers. Strangers got married, another couple came apart. Others made life long friends.
Passengers later created a scholarship fund for Newfoundland students now worth over $1.5M.
Despite all the tragedies we hear about every day, when a little musical about the kindness of strangers in a small community makes it all the way to Broadway – I can only hope in balance we are still moving forward positively.
What kindness will you show today?
Expect Miracles.
