{"id":8838,"date":"2022-08-09T06:32:57","date_gmt":"2022-08-09T13:32:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/carolynhidalgo.com\/?p=8838"},"modified":"2023-03-22T10:10:22","modified_gmt":"2023-03-22T10:10:22","slug":"the-little-trap-of-punishment-and-reward","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/carolynhidalgo.com\/staging\/the-little-trap-of-punishment-and-reward\/","title":{"rendered":"The Little Trap of Punishment and Reward"},"content":{"rendered":"

The Little Trap of Punishment and Reward<\/span><\/h3>\n

Have you ever thought that “the best can only be bought at the cost of great pain”?<\/p>\n

How about “no pain, no gain”?<\/p>\n

I am someone who already avoids pain being an Enneagram #7 (Enthusiast\/Epicure), so I admit I’m biased with\u00a0what I’m about to tell you.<\/p>\n

My soul growth is about\u00a0leaning into pain, but\u00a0there can be a trap here.<\/p>\n

In my life before soul awareness,\u00a0I used to blindly accept some pain as “normal”.<\/p>\n

Not all pain is the same!<\/strong><\/p>\n

Like the pain I’d feel going to tax class I’d dread\u00a0(as opposed to psychology class I loved).<\/p>\n

The pain of struggling through writing\u00a04 hour\u00a0accounting exams, and\u00a0auditing clients’ financial records.<\/p>\n

Pain from not being aligned within.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Then came\u00a0the painful exhaustion of\u00a0trying to take care of my home, the finances, and\u00a0being a mom to 3 little beings under age 3 without any\u00a0awareness of “self-care”.<\/p>\n

Pain from being physically and emotionally tired.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I kept needing to\u00a0get it all done, and ploughed through\u00a0somehow.<\/p>\n

I believed in reward and punishment back then.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Work hard for a reward. The degree, position, money.<\/p>\n

Mess up and get punished.<\/p>\n

Isn’t that why we had rules, and how life worked?<\/p>\n

NOPE.<\/span><\/h3>\n

Even for pain, there is no one size fits all.<\/p>\n

This morning I was back on our Peleton after missing a few weeks allowing my body to heal.<\/p>\n

I’m the last person you’d see sweating it out on a spin bike, but these days…I’m there!<\/p>\n

My favourite trainer is Emma Lovewell (guessing not her real last name) ..\u00a0joining her ride is like attending a mind-body-soul inspiring class.<\/p>\n

Her energy pushes me through the pain I need to lean into for a healthier body.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I LOVE that she has\u00a0a deep connection to music (as former DJ) as music is\u00a0a soul spark that keeps me engaged.<\/p>\n

She had me visualizing healing my re-curring cyst\u00a0that I’ve\u00a0nearly dissolved using overnight bentonite clay with coconut oil masks along with a pile of other lymphatic system catalysts (skipping rope, dry brushing and hot\/cold shower).<\/p>\n

After enduring 2 surgical removals and antibiotics only for this cyst to emerge a 3rd time – here’s what I believe:<\/p>\n

1) There are natural ways we can heal our body with ingredients from Mother Earth and better eating.<\/p>\n

2) The power of our mind in touch with our soul can heal including visualization, but mostly by keeping our energy away from the resistance of constant “fight\/flight” that creates tension and is the essence of reward and punishment.<\/p>\n

There’s a\u00a0reactive quality to reward and punishment thinking that moves us towards control instead of letting go and trusting.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

I keep reminding myself: the power that created our body can heal our body.<\/p>\n

When we tap into our highest light energy away from reward and punishment, a whole new approach to life opens up.<\/p>\n

Emma often says\u00a0“this isn’t punishment” when she pushes me through a hard climb “its fitness”. \u00a0It’s the kind of pain I’m being called to embrace knowing it will improve my health.<\/p>\n

She focuses on “showing up for yourself”, and “by stretching your limits you are growing”. Her attention is on\u00a0being kind, and compassionate with yourself without taking yourself so seriously.<\/p>\n

I could put my\u00a0attention on the numerical stats that pop up on the screen, measuring how I last performed, comparing myself to others on the leader board, and\u00a0checking\u00a0things off a list.<\/p>\n

It’s what I used to do to get results.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Today I’ve learned to\u00a0BE to get the experiences I most desire.<\/p>\n

Show up for what matters.<\/p>\n

I focus on “does this FEEL\u00a0aligned to ME”?<\/p>\n

There’s a different energy here and its more powerful than reward and punishment.<\/strong><\/p>\n

It happens when you begin living your own uncomfortable\u00a0truth.<\/p>\n

Too often we are more comfortable with everyone else’s truth.<\/p>\n

Here’s the Trap of Punishment and Reward<\/h5>\n

Punishment breeds fear. Fear can get results. It also creates stress that harms your body.<\/p>\n

Reward is also a trap because it breeds a different kind of fear.<\/p>\n

You can get\u00a0attached to needing rewards (money, position, recognition). Sure, it can also bring\u00a0results, but at the cost of becoming controlling.<\/p>\n

What if you could enjoy what you want and keep expanding into more of what you want?<\/p>\n

Here’s a couple questions to ask yourself:<\/strong><\/p>\n

How can you trust more what’s true for you?<\/p>\n

Are you\u00a0willing to step into the kind of pain that helps you discover the real you, own your own truth, and follow your heart?<\/p>\n

From a place of trust within,\u00a0your sense of fulfilment\u00a0and love\u00a0can only grow.<\/p>\n

BE what you want and everything you desire will unfold.<\/p>\n

Your results will be delightfully better than you expected.<\/p>\n

BE the love<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Be the connection.<\/p>\n

Be the difference.<\/p>\n

Be the ease.<\/p>\n

Watch as you become the flow in your own life.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Let go of the little trap of punishment and reward, and the kind of pain you need to let go of will surface.<\/p>\n

The kind of “growing pain” your truth, your beauty and your goodness needs to grow will also emerge for you to embrace.<\/p>\n

What pain do you need to embrace today?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Little Trap of Punishment and Reward Have you ever thought that “the best can only be bought at the cost of great pain”? How about “no pain, no gain”? I am someone who already avoids pain being an Enneagram #7 (Enthusiast\/Epicure), so I admit I’m biased with\u00a0what I’m about to tell you. My soul […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":8843,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mo_disable_npp":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[117,131],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8838","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-joy-pain","category-spiritual-health"],"acf":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/carolynhidalgo.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8838","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/carolynhidalgo.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/carolynhidalgo.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/carolynhidalgo.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/carolynhidalgo.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8838"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/carolynhidalgo.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8838\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9300,"href":"https:\/\/carolynhidalgo.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8838\/revisions\/9300"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/carolynhidalgo.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/8843"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/carolynhidalgo.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8838"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/carolynhidalgo.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8838"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/carolynhidalgo.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8838"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}