![\"LynnJohnstonCartoon\"](\"https:\/\/carolynhidalgo.com\/\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/LynnJohnstonCartoon.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Interestingly, Lynn divorced twice saying:<\/p>\n
\u201c people want to know a lot about it, and it\u2019s nobody\u2019s business but mine.. they\u2019re sad because it was a fantasy. And I was sad for them because I wanted to give them a real family behind the family in the strip that was together and communicated…could see\u00a0each other through all the ups and downs.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
There\u2019s an underlying message we\u2019ve been fed: no matter what happens remain loyal\u00a0because\u00a0this means you love someone.<\/p>\n
I never gave much thought to what it means to love unconditionally \u2013 turns out it\u2019s one the most misunderstood concepts of all time. \u00a0I grew up in a family where my parents have been happily married for 50 years, and my grandparents on both sides celebrated the same milestone. In other words, I was shown firsthand how its possible to love through the good times, and bad –\u00a0certainly there were challenges to face, but what if there was one ingredient I was given\u00a0I wasn’t aware of, yet I was still missing something?<\/p>\n
Some have said loving unconditionally is impossible because its just unrealistic. Others think it\u2019s possible, but hard work, and there’s those whose\u00a0wacky ideas\u00a0about\u00a0what love means it’s “my\u00a0conditions or else”.\u00a0\u00a0The reality is the only experience of love you can ever know is your own. Love is subjective, and the contrast of what it\u2019s not\u00a0is what gave me the greatest clue to experience it more fully beyond the harmony of simply ‘sticking together no matter what’.<\/p>\n
How far will you go trusting your own sense of what love is supposed to be, and not everyone else\u2019s version of love?<\/p>\n
There\u2019s a collapse of 2 beliefs into one that creates a lot of our own struggles in love. It says \u201cno matter what shows up that\u2019s not working for me (not just with a partner, but includes friends, and family) I\u2019m sticking this out, and this mean I love you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Other examples:<\/p>\n
\u2022 I have to worry about you because I love you.<\/p>\n
\u2022 I won\u2019t say something because it will hurt you even if it\u2019s true for me.<\/p>\n
\u2022 I will put up with your nasty behavior because you mean a lot to me, and I understand why you are this way.<\/p>\n
Worry, and the frantic, self-destructive energy it brings comes from fear. Concern, and the caring energy it brings comes from love. One feels disconnected, and out of control, the other feels like a desire to know a loved one is safe. Not the same experience.<\/p>\n
Often what we call love is really fear:<\/p>\n
\u2022 tolerating disguised as loyalty
\n\u2022 worry disguised as concern
\n\u2022 jealousy disguised as commitment
\n\u2022 control disguised as caring
\n\u2022 selfishness disguised as need
\n\u2022 ownership disguised as love<\/p>\nThe one condition you must not give into is being treated by anyone where you are made to feel unworthy, inferior, less, or worse. This is judgment, and no one deserves anyone\u2019s judgment, nor do you have the right to judge. It was the one thing I wasn’t treated to\u00a0growing up that I didn’t realize – until I was judged, and the contrast of how this prior friend was treating me didn’t resonate with my own well-being.<\/p>\n