You get disappointed and you often wonder what’s underneath your disappointment?<\/p>\n
Bottom line: you don\u2019t get your way.<\/p>\n
I thought I understood how to avoid disappointment. Wasn’t it just based on expectations I created? Simple solution – don\u2019t have expectations!<\/p>\n
Stay positive in the glass half full instead of half empty perspective.<\/p>\n
Stop projecting, and be open to everyone\u2019s point of view.<\/p>\n
Don\u2019t assume because you don\u2019t know everything.<\/p>\n
Let go of taking it personally. It\u2019s about them, not you.<\/p>\n
Sure, these\u00a0are practices that can help manage the angst of our greatest disappointments, but life is not\u00a0black and white so\u00a0where\u2019s the grey?<\/p>\n
Circumstances<\/strong> happen beyond our control all the time. An accident on the highway over thanksgiving weekend, and you\u2019re in the midst of wall-to-wall traffic. You miss your plane. You\u2019re frustrated, angry, and disappointed.<\/p>\n But what if you feel disappointed, and it was really self-pity?<\/p>\n \u2022 \u201cWhy do accidents always happen when I\u2019m driving? It\u2019s not fair!\u201d<\/p>\n What if you hear on the radio the traffic is due to a car accident, and you’re in blame, and judgment?<\/p>\n \u2022 \u201cWhy can\u2019t people drive more carefully so they don\u2019t get into an accident? What’s wrong with people?!\u201d<\/p>\n What if it\u2019s self-blame, and self-judgment?<\/p>\n \u2022 \u201cWhy didn\u2019t I anticipate this? I\u2019m so bad at planning. I should have left earlier or taken an alternate route – what\u2019s wrong with me?\u201d<\/p>\n Is your inner voice kind, compassionate, and understanding towards you, and everyone else, or is it judgmental, and unforgiving?<\/p>\n We all struggle on some level with how we value ourselves. Our\u00a0inner critic, and judgmental voice can run deep. \u00a0Am I good enough? Am I worthy of being loved? Do I measure up? The higher your self-worth, the better your ability to experience from a place of higher vibration that is loving, and authentic towards yourself, and others.<\/p>\n How do you know what\u2019s authentic for you? In times of disappointment, its our most vulnerable emotions we don\u2019t want to feel, and do our best to avoid or deny. It may be too painful, so we mask or bury our truth\u00a0with coping emotions that come from our ego\u00a0to \u2018control\u2019 our disappointment.<\/p>\n There may be genuine sadness that\u2019s masked by our ego’s self-pity of life being ‘unfair’.<\/p>\n Your ego may be telling yourself how you “should have, could have, would have” – or they “should have, could have, needed to..” with a blaming energy that’s keeping you stuck in resistance<\/strong>.<\/p>\n What if what\u2019s beyond your control is how other people<\/strong> behave – the choices they make<\/strong>? We can blame circumstances, but when we blame people – it’s a whole other ball game. A longtime friend or partner suddenly acts in an unexpected way that leaves you feeling devastated, upset, and angry.<\/p>\n Are you tapping into your genuine disappointment over how you have been treated or are you in self-pity?<\/p>\n \u2022 How could he do that to me?<\/p>\n Are you blaming?<\/p>\n \u2022 It\u2019s her fault \u2013 no reasonable person behaves that way! What\u2019s wrong with her?<\/p>\n Are you judging (condemning) someone?<\/p>\n \u2022 What an idiot \u2013 he or she doesn\u2019t deserve my friendship or love!\u00a0Who does he think he is?<\/p>\n When you practice distinguishing your authentic emotions around disappointment versus how your ego is responding from fear (self-pity, blame, and judgment), something inside of you shifts your pain of ‘hanging on’ to the freedom of ‘letting go’.<\/p>\n Are you willing to let those difficult\u00a0authentic emotions flow through you? To check if your feelings are authentic, notice whether your emotional reaction to disappointment brings\u00a0you closer to your higher self that has a sense of being grounded as opposed to thoughts, and emotions that keep you spiraling in a negative pattern that feels stuck, often against someone or something.<\/p>\n Once you move away from your ego, you can allow yourself to feel the part of yourself that is compassionate, and non-judgmental, and the difficult emotions of loss, genuine anger, or sadness underneath any disappointment have a place to land safely. \u00a0You can be with\u00a0your true\u00a0emotions to\u00a0begin to heal any pain, and move on with less stress.<\/p>\n Remember, the\u00a0only ego you can manage is your own. Engaging with\u00a0someone’s ego is a losing battle. Ever try\u00a0talking\u00a0with someone who is putting you down? Who blames you for how they feel? Who demands you listen to them, but refuses to listen to you? Whose only way is their ‘right way’?<\/p>\n If you notice\u00a0yourself\u00a0justifying\u00a0this kind of energy within you – no matter what the situation – slow down, and recognize\u00a0your ego. Others will be forced to walk away from you. They may be saying:\u00a0“you are not listening!”because your ego only listens to itself.<\/p>\n A strong ego coincides with low self-worth \u2013 a disconnection from your higher self. It’s the part of other people you cannot change, but many of us try anyway –\u00a0resulting in drama. We see\u00a0people struggle, and want to reach out to them, but unless they are willing to listen you cannot offer any guidance\u00a0because their ego prevents them from being in\u00a0a space to receive you.<\/p>\n Our self-worth gets\u00a0challenged by our own past pain, or unmet needs looking to heal.<\/p>\n If you suffered from abandonment,\u00a0you may seek it from a church or friends\/neighbours\u00a0to feel ‘good enough’, and have sense of belonging.<\/p>\n If you suffered from a lack of money, you\u00a0may\u00a0need to have a lot of it to feel good about yourself.<\/p>\n If you were not respected, supported or nurtured, you may\u00a0be seeking love from others to feel\u00a0good enough and loved.<\/p>\nWhat’s the energy underneath your disappointment?<\/h2>\n
Where Your Ego May Be Keeping You Stuck:<\/h2>\n
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