Why I think Love Just Is…

“What is sin? It is a sin to prevent Love from showing itself.”
Paulo Coelho, The Witch of Portobello

Just back from Mexico where our kids spent the week with their cousins endlessly laughing and playing in the hot sun of the Mayan Rivera delighted to discover all sizes of hermit crabs crawling along the sand, huge coloured fish swimming around their ankles, and iguanas that hung out with us at the pool.

Then there were the coatis (“Brazilian aardvark”), and agouti (think over-sized cross between mouse/chipmunk) that would frequent our strolls along the winding resort pathways. My highlight snorkelling was seeing a giant sea turtle happily munching on sea grass, seriously it was GIGANTIC, and breathtaking.

What I admit I love most about being on vacation (beach sunset & sunrise being close seconds) is reading with that space to devour a whole book from start to finish, which this time included “The Witch of Portobello.”

Despite sales of over 100 million copies of his books worldwide, and having The Alchemist one of my top 10 of all time – I was still reluctant as I flipped from the back cover to the inside chapter headings. The title sounded ‘weird’, but also mysterious and intriguing. I felt that nudge of intuition to pick it up, and followed it.

I did not expect the amazing journey I found myself on in its pages including a surprising twist, and that undescribable way Paulo’s brilliant writing resonates so deeply with our different personal journeys simultaneously.

With the proposal deadline of my first book: Live the Love You Deserve: Imagine. A Judgment-Free World fast approaching, so much in this book helped me hear my own voice louder. These were just a handful of the gems:

1. A teacher is not someone who teaches something, but one who inspires the student to give of her best in order to discover what she already knows. As a coach, and mother, I inspire other’s best already within them – good reminder.

2. All great painters understand that in order to forget the rules, you must know, and respect them. The blank spaces are where the individuality, and spontaneity show up. As a writer learning to master this space between the words has been a challenge as I naturally ‘follow the rules’, (my left brain analytical side), but this is where our real gift of uniquesness lies – between the spaces.

3. You are what you believe yourself to be. Don’t be like those people who believe in ‘positive thinking’, you don’t need to because you know it already. Laugh at your worries, and insecurities. What I believe is so much more important than what I know, and what I think. Seeing myself from the lighter side without judgment helps me get out of my own way by slowing down, trusting myself instead of over-thinking, and knowing so much it blinds me.

4. Love is the feeling that transforms everything. Passion died out because you got used to each other. The earth gives only what it gave last year, neither more nor less. In the darkness of your souls, you silently complain that nothing in your lives changes. Why? Because you’ve always tried to control the force that transforms everything so your lives can carry on without being faced by any major challenges.

This one hit home. We want to control love. It’s hard not to want security. But the desire to maintain love demanding ‘forever’ keeps us stuck until we realize it’s sharing our growth, and continual change that keeps love alive, flourishing, and passionate! We are afraid of change – fear stepping into the unknown of what our heart is calling us to follow.

There is such comfort in the comfortable even when it’s not working. We don’t trust ourselves, but for those who are willing to know thyself (a never-ending journey) – the courage to dare experience love beyond the conventional is available, and more stable, and real than any love bound by rules.

5. Love fills everything. It cannot be desired because it is an end in itself. It cannot betray because it has nothing to do with possession. It cannot be held prisoner because it is a river and will overflow its banks. Anyone who tries to imprison love will cut off the spring that feeds it, and the trapped water will grow stagnant and rank.

Love allows us the independence to grow into all of who we want to be. Belonging can feel like love, but it’s an illusion. There are no conditions to meet, no expectations to fulfill. No ego. No judgment of what love should be. Love just is. Happiness does not need to be found, but effortlessly follows love wherever it is expressed.

What does love mean for you?

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