Believe It: Learning to forgive and communicate forgiveness requires you to transcend your ego’s need to be right, and make someone else wrong. In releasing judgment, you will free yourself from the energy of resentment, betrayal, anger, and hatred, and create space to live the love you deserve.
Be It:
Release the illusion that forgiveness means:
1) You do nothing.
2) You let someone get away with destructive, or unloving behaviour with no consequences.
3) Saying sorry without taking responsibility.
Embrace the reality that:
1) You have 100% responsibility for what you choose to say, be, and do. So does everyone else.
2) Everyone is doing their best at their own state of consciousness, and responds from this place.
3) You cannot change someone else, and can only be the change.
Do It:
1) SEE others as a product of their conditioning looking through their lens to create their experience because that’s who you are.
2) Notice when you are thinking anyone SHOULD be and do the way you believe is ‘right’. Ask is it constructive or destructive to my values, and choose to stay, or let go.
4) Let go of the need to be right, and make others wrong.
Embrace these words: High vibration energy of compassion and understanding
- I notice that…..
- Here’s how I’m feeling, what are you feeling?
- Are you open to hearing my thoughts and feelings around this?
- Are you willing to listen to my point of view? I know it may not be the same as yours.
- What do you want? I want….
- What are you willing to do?
- I’m curious about…
- I’m feeling disappointed because my value is…
- This is what I am wanting for us…
- I’m not ok with….
- I think/believe that…
Avoid these words: Low vibration energy of projection, judgment, criticism
- You never….
- You always…
- You should…
- Why can’t you get that….
- What’s wrong with you?
- Why or how can you not see that…
- I’m so disappointed that you…
- How could you…?
- I can’t believe you…
Demanding an apology means you are still attached to being right and are not ready to communicate forgiveness yet. Feeling disappointed/sad someone doesn’t apologize for something that is destructive to your relationship is a genuine hurt reflecting you may not share similar values. Say “I’m not ok with you not taking responsibility for (fill in destructive behaviour) that step on my values of…. ”
Please check out my latest book: Pebbles in the Pond with transformational best-selling authors Arielle Ford, and Marci Shimoff here!! My chapter is called Finding Forgiveness.
