Imagine: A Judgment-free World
We can judge something as “good or bad” and “right or wrong” based on our own experience and beliefs to help make our best decisions, but judging someone is very different because it leads to controlling and condemning thoughts against a fellow human being for not following our “right way”.
Have you ever felt someone being controlling towards you? How about someone who condemns you? It can be for something you said or did that is right or good for you in your life, but someone happens to not agree according to their life view.
Determining for ourselves what’s right and wrong based on our own truth is necessary. This is called discernment. Judgment, on the other hand, takes a moral position of what you may believe is right and imposes your will onto others using inappropriate control, power or influence.
Freedom and the ability to be yourself disappears in the space where judgment is present.
How I Discovered What It Means to Judge Someone
When I found myself being judged (morally condemned) by a close friend, I was devastated, confused, and angry. I responded in defensiveness, feelings of resentment, and a deep sense of betrayal.
I blamed her for behaving in ways I considered to be the opposite of what a friendship means for me: trust and acceptance that someone has your back even if you disagree.
Until that moment, I’d never felt hatred or the depth of ill will towards anyone in my whole life. I was in my early 40’s and of course had met people I didn’t respect, like or get along with, but THIS was different.
I had an epiphany when I realized what I was doing: I was judging her for judging me!
I couldn’t forgive her in this place and I was the one creating my own angst.
Many questions arose: what does it mean to judge someone? If you think someone is being judgmental, aren’t you judging them? Don’t we need to judge right from wrong?
The Confusion Around Judgment
The word judgment is described when you have a first impression of someone – good or bad. It’s been used to state a belief or make an assumption. It’s also been used to make an assessment or draw a conclusion.
These are all ways to discern what’s right and wrong for ourselves, which is an important part of making healthy productive decisions.
What’s destructive when it comes to judgment happens when your ‘right view’ becomes “my way or the highway” for someone else. When you become morally opposed to someone because of their choices, then proceed to condemn, demonize, bully, control or attack them in your thoughts and actions.
The use of influence, power or control in any form that demands, imposes or requires someone else to follow your way regardless of how they feel or what they think creates a space that breaks down our relationships.
It’s the feelings of contempt, disdain, disgust and scorn that accompany judgment where we despise, loathe or take personal offence to someone that causes separation, and irreconcilable differences.
These destructive emotions can lead to hatred, and painful suffering. It’s the cause of so many unresolvable conflicts, grudges, and an inability to forgive someone.
Judging other people fosters controlling, condemning and entitled behavior with a need to be right. It can lead to cruel punishment we justify of those we judge — because “they” don’t fit into our version of what’s right for “us”.
The difference between Judgment and Criticism
Judgment attacks who you are and fosters shame, while criticism attacks what you do and fosters guilt.
For example, judgment is “how could you be so stupid – what an idiot you are! Criticism is “you shouldn’t have made such a stupid decision – what were you thinking?
Both judgment and criticism imply “what’s wrong with you?”, and this attacking energy is in opposition to our spiritual nature of kindness, compassion, and love. There’s no space for patience and understanding when someone is already wrong in your eyes.
Our world is overflowing with criticism and judgment, especially in social media, but also rampant throughout our systems of government, education, charities and even the justice system.
It starts in our homes that filter out into our communities. Entire countries are feeling divided by the overwhelming way people criticize and judge, creating a world of us against them of major issues instead of spaces where we can come together to hear both sides.
A Spiritual Approach
On some level, most of us understand it’s not OK to judge someone, but how does it apply in practice?
It goes back to a Universal principle found in every major faith: the Golden Rule. Treat people the way you want to be treated.
Who wants to feel judged? Yet we treat people to our judgment all the time and justify it.
Our own sense of right through our own narrow lens that makes someone else wrong fuels judgmental thinking instead of staying open, curious, and seeking to understand the choices and lens other people hold.
A Divine Connection We Share
We each carry a divine fragment within us. The idea that “the Kingdom of God is within” or “Heaven is within you” connects us to something much bigger than ourselves.
We are an evolving consciousness where the light of God is evolving through your experiences with decisions based on how you choose to think.
Deep within are values of “truth, beauty, and goodness” that can easily get lost navigating our external world. Judging someone means we’re disconnected from our own inner light.
God does not judge us. This universal divine force is non-judgmental, compassionate, and merciful.
Being with someone without judgment when things go wrong or when we don’t agree can end the cycle of guilt, shame, and blame. It’s a war within us.
“In the 20th century alone, close to 200 million human beings were killed by other human beings…a dysfunction in the human mind prevents us from perceiving other human beings and Nature as part of who we are. With a voice in the head that is continuously judging, criticizing, and conceptualizing, we are unable to see that every life form is as alive and sacred as we are.”
~Eckhart Tolle, Author of A New Earth
Practicing to release judgment allows you to find your true inner voice and remember who you really are. We stop our own inner conflict, and get ourselves out of our own way.
A Book I’m Writing with You..
I am currently writing my first book: Overcoming Judgment: How Allowing You to Be You Lets Me Be Me. My goal is to help readers recognize when they are judging someone, and show them how to stop.
Your feedback, and experiences with judgment have been helping me put this difficult topic together.
I believe the spiritual foundation, and our ascension path for all healthy relationships is non-judgment, which requires becoming aligned with our soul on this journey together.
We are here to learn how to love one another unconditionally meaning without judgment.
My Mission
To help create judgment-free relationships where you have the freedom to be true to yourself because this is the experience of what it is to love unconditionally.
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Imagine: A Judgment-free World
We can judge something as “good or bad” and “right or wrong” based on our own experience and beliefs to help make our best decisions, but judging someone is very different because it leads to controlling and condemning thoughts against a fellow human being for not following our “right way”.
Have you ever felt someone being controlling towards you? How about someone who condemns you? It can be for something you said or did that is right or good for you in your life, but someone happens to not agree according to their life view.
Determining for ourselves what’s right and wrong based on our own truth is necessary. This is called discernment. Judgment, on the other hand, takes a moral position of what you may believe is right and imposes your will onto others using inappropriate control, power or influence.
Freedom and the ability to be yourself disappears in the space where judgment is present.
How I Discovered What It Means to Judge Someone
When I found myself being judged (morally condemned) by a close friend, I was devastated, confused, and angry. I responded in defensiveness, feelings of resentment, and a deep sense of betrayal.
I blamed her for behaving in ways I considered to be the opposite of what a friendship means for me: trust and acceptance that someone has your back even if you disagree.
Until that moment, I’d never felt hatred or the depth of ill will towards anyone in my whole life. I was in my early 40’s and of course had met people I didn’t respect, like or get along with, but THIS was different.
I had an epiphany when I realized what I was doing: I was judging her for judging me!
I couldn’t forgive her in this place and I was the one creating my own angst.
Many questions arose: what does it mean to judge someone? If you think someone is being judgmental, aren’t you judging them? Don’t we need to judge right from wrong?
The Confusion Around Judgment
The word judgment is described when you have a first impression of someone – good or bad. It’s been used to state a belief or make an assumption. It’s also been used to make an assessment or draw a conclusion.
These are all ways to discern what’s right and wrong for ourselves, which is an important part of making healthy productive decisions.
What’s destructive when it comes to judgment happens when your ‘right view’ becomes “my way or the highway” for someone else. When you become morally opposed to someone because of their choices, then proceed to condemn, demonize, bully, control or attack them in your thoughts and actions.
The use of influence, power or control in any form that demands, imposes or requires someone else to follow your way regardless of how they feel or what they think creates a space that breaks down our relationships.
It’s the feelings of contempt, disdain, disgust and scorn that accompany judgment where we despise, loathe or take personal offence to someone that causes separation, and irreconcilable differences.
These destructive emotions can lead to hatred, and painful suffering. It’s the cause of so many unresolvable conflicts, grudges, and an inability to forgive someone.
Judging other people fosters controlling, condemning and entitled behavior with a need to be right. It can lead to cruel punishment we justify of those we judge — because “they” don’t fit into our version of what’s right for “us”.
The difference between Judgment and Criticism
Judgment attacks who you are and fosters shame, while criticism attacks what you do and fosters guilt.
For example, judgment is “how could you be so stupid – what an idiot you are! Criticism is “you shouldn’t have made such a stupid decision – what were you thinking?
Both judgment and criticism imply “what’s wrong with you?”, and this attacking energy is in opposition to our spiritual nature of kindness, compassion, and love. There’s no space for patience and understanding when someone is already wrong in your eyes.
Our world is overflowing with criticism and judgment, especially in social media, but also rampant throughout our systems of government, education, charities and even the justice system.
It starts in our homes that filter out into our communities. Entire countries are feeling divided by the overwhelming way people criticize and judge, creating a world of us against them of major issues instead of spaces where we can come together to hear both sides.
A Spiritual Approach
On some level, most of us understand it’s not OK to judge someone, but how does it apply in practice?
It goes back to a Universal principle found in every major faith: the Golden Rule. Treat people the way you want to be treated.
Who wants to feel judged? Yet we treat people to our judgment all the time and justify it.
Our own sense of right through our own narrow lens that makes someone else wrong fuels judgmental thinking instead of staying open, curious, and seeking to understand the choices and lens other people hold.
A Divine Connection We Share
We each carry a divine fragment within us. The idea that “the Kingdom of God is within” or “Heaven is within you” connects us to something much bigger than ourselves.
We are an evolving consciousness where the light of God is evolving through your experiences with decisions based on how you choose to think.
Deep within are values of “truth, beauty, and goodness” that can easily get lost navigating our external world. Judging someone means we’re disconnected from our own inner light.
God does not judge us. This universal divine force is non-judgmental, compassionate, and merciful.
Being with someone without judgment when things go wrong or when we don’t agree can end the cycle of guilt, shame, and blame. It’s a war within us.
“In the 20th century alone, close to 200 million human beings were killed by other human beings…a dysfunction in the human mind prevents us from perceiving other human beings and Nature as part of who we are. With a voice in the head that is continuously judging, criticizing, and conceptualizing, we are unable to see that every life form is as alive and sacred as we are.”
~Eckhart Tolle, Author of A New Earth
Practicing to release judgment allows you to find your true inner voice and remember who you really are. We stop our own inner conflict, and get ourselves out of our own way.
A Book I’m Writing with You..
I am currently writing my first book: Overcoming Judgment: How Allowing You to Be You Lets Me Be Me. My goal is to help readers recognize when they are judging someone, and show them how to stop.
Your feedback, and experiences with judgment have been helping me put this difficult topic together.
I believe the spiritual foundation, and our ascension path for all healthy relationships is non-judgment, which requires becoming aligned with our soul on this journey together.
We are here to learn how to love one another unconditionally meaning without judgment.
My Mission
To help create judgment-free relationships where you have the freedom to be true to yourself because this is the experience of what it is to love unconditionally.
To learn more, and stay connected – sign up for my free guide on Overcoming Judgment, and join a judgment-free community of friends.