Carolyn Hidalgo

Living Your Truth

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What is freedom? The space to be exactly who you are knowing you won’t be judged as ‘wrong’. The freedom to be seen, heard, accepted even if it’s different to others, and be living your truth. We live in a world of right and wrong. Good and bad. Harmony exists when everyone follows the rules. Does what’s expected. It isn’t necessarily your best or what you want. “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” — John 8:32 What is truth? Your perception of it based on your unique beliefs, understanding, knowledge, and experience. What if your truth doesn’t fit the socially accepted norms where you live? Within your own family? How do you find a way to speak, and live your truth knowing you may be criticized or judged harshly, misunderstood, have anger, or disappointment thrown your way? We are all living along a spectrum of love on one side and fear on the other. Love will lead to constructive, joyful experiences, fear to destructive, unpleasant ones with infinite variations in between. When you live in the world seeing people as ‘good and bad’ or ‘right and wrong’, you hold the wand of judgment, which lives in fear, and prevents you and others from experiencing the freedom to be who you are. The 8 Steps to Living Your Truth 1. Let go of judging yourself. Accept, and love yourself for exactly who you are. If you feel not good enough, unworthy or not measuring up, you are making yourself wrong, and believing this lie. Instead, believe that you deserve to be accepted and loved. It is true no matter who you are, what you’ve said or done. Doesn’t mean you don’t have things to learn and grow from – we all do, nor does it mean not taking 100% responsibility for any destructive thoughts you choose to think. Affirm, and believe “I deserve, and am worthy of experiencing what creates real joy in my life, and am doing my best.” Extend that affirmation to everyone else. 2. Let go of judging others. If you feel stressed, anger, resentment, disappointment by what others say and do, it’s a strong sign you are judging someone as ‘wrong’. You feel a need to correct, convince, control or change someone (my 4 C’s), which also prevents finding forgiveness. You are not responsible for what others say and do – they are. Everyone can only do their best in any given moment. You can teach, model, share, give relevant consequences, but punishing, and condemning is the destructive force of judgment (attached to ‘being right’) that leads to contempt, hatred, resentment, separateness, and conflict. 3. Become aware of the ‘right and wrong’ in the family/social network you grew up. Some of the socially accepted values, expectations, and beliefs in your current circle of family and friends may not serve your happiness. Shifting to the side of love requires breaking out of the box you were born into to follow your own truth for what matters to you. Do you find yourself compromising (i.e. putting up with, suffering silently, or tolerating) to follow what’s expected, or what you should do or believe? Instead, know your own truth – what values are being stepped that creates any stress you feel? Limit the ever-present media, which silently programs everyone else’s ideas of how you should be, and what you should fear into your mind. Look within, and be able to answer: Who are YOU? 4. Know the values you are willing to stand up for. True intimacy, trust, unconditional love, non-judgment, authenticity, vulnerability, compassion, understanding, and growth are my core values. I will stand up for these no matter what. Even if I have to walk away, change old thinking, step into what I’m most afraid of, and be vulnerable. The quality of the relationships in my life share these values. I cannot buy them, nor can I change anyone to be them. I simply live them so I end up attracting them, and won’t compromise. What are yours? Stand by them. 5. Understand what living from Fear Vs. Love FEELS like. Guilt, a need to control, and an inability to trust is living from fear. Having expectations that someone should change if they really loved you is fear-based.  People can only change for themselves, which may have a positive or negative impact on you based on your values. If someone’s values are destructive, and create disharmony, you may need to walk away. Fear holds a sense of competition instead of cooperation, entitlement instead of giving, doubt instead of trust. Love feels grounded, brings an inner connection to the spirit of “God” within that connects us all as ONE humanity. There is an inner peace, calmness, flow with love. When you live in fear, you are disconnected from this place, and cannot see clearly. Your ego takes over, and prevents choosing wisely. There is drama with fear, but a healthy disruption when you can break the barriers towards your highest self. 6. Understand where YOU live on the Fear Vs. Love spectrum. Begin making shifts to continuously move away from judgment, and toward love. Notice, and let go of using the word ‘should’ with people as this often indicates you making yourself or someone else wrong. Do you feel guilt, resentment, ill-will, and react with inner anger much of the time? Or do you feel compassionate, calm, an inner peace, and trust no matter what outer turmoil swirls around you? Do you see a world filled with good or evil people, or a world full of human beings living in fear or love all essentially wanting the same thing? 7. Notice where OTHERS live on the Fear Vs. Love spectrum. You will be reluctant to share your truth with those who live in fear unless you want criticism, judgment, and their fears (worry, control, correcting, convincing) projected onto you. Distance yourself from those you cannot be authentic with, and surround yourself with those who nourish, support, and champion you. Those living from love will …

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11 Resources to Launch Your Best for 2012

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One of the pages on my website I’ve struggled to create is a resource page. Why? I love to read, listen, and watch others…transformational wisdom from authors, coaches, every day people, and inspirational leaders. It’s a passion, a calling, ok I admit a bit of an obsession. It’s helped create a life I love. People often ask me what to read, and I respond: What are you looking for? Struggling with? Wanting to overcome? And, willing to do to launch your best? I eagerly suggest resources careful not to give too much. It won’t all land – it’s hit and miss because we are on our own unique spiritual path. What resonates for me will not necessarily resonate with you. There is no right or wrong when it comes to our personal journeys. It can be overwhelming the wisdom available outside ourselves when the greatest source of wisdom lies within. Still, we can fast track along with our experiences, save ourselves from pain, and evolve much faster through the collective wisdom from our connection with others. Knowledge can be practical, valuable, but nothing compares to the trust we build within ourselves when we develop our own inner knowing. Our own truth for living life to the fullest. A shift begins to happen when you trust yourself more than you trust other people. Inner peace lives here. As I review 2011, a breakthrough year in experiences that transpired, I wanted to share some of my favourite resources. I hope you will find something you are looking for, experience an aha moment or two, and help launch you into 2012 armed with new thinking, and a fresh perspective of what’s possible for your life. As we begin a new year, many of my ‘teachers’ have shared their ‘best of 2011’ – and along with a few of my favourite resources, I wish your best ever for 2012. 11 Resources to Launch Your Best 1) The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. The NY Times Bestseller for over eight years, these 4 simple principles reveals the source of self-limiting beliefs that create unnecessary suffering.  I’ve read this small, powerful book a few times, and keep a summary posted at my desk. A spiritual practice I need reminding of every day that continues to be transformational. 2) Weekly Lessons from Teacher Ophelius, and the Circle of Seven resonate at a spiritual level I can hardly describe in words. They keep me in my peace, and grounded in who I am becoming. 11:11 is a prompt I’ve seen as a child, and its spiritual significance has become clear. 3) Robin Sharma – Top 10 Blog Posts for 2011, author of The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari and The Greatness Guides. Practical, no-nonsense timeless wisdom to help you launch your best. 4) Tiny Buddha – Book Giveaway, and Top 10 Insights of 2011. 3 years ago founder Lori Deschene created this phenomenal site for peace and happiness – more than 15 million views to date, her insights along with others sharing their personal wisdom is a place you will feel right at home. Check out my first guest post: The Foundation of Love. 5) Zen Habits: The Essential Zen Habits of 2011. An incredible blog packed with wisdom about keeping life simple. Leo Babauta, a father of 6, who’s inspired me of what’s possible when we slow down to speed up. Less is more. The power of simplicity and consistency. 6) The Master Key System by Charles Haanel. Insanely Powerful. Ridiculously Free (now in public domain). I listen to the audio version waiting in lines, driving long distances. I hear different insights each time as I grow. It’s that powerful. 7) Oprah. I began watching her show in 2000 when I became a stay at home mom. I craved meaningful adult conversation after leaving corporate life, and was hooked.  I summarized her finale show – Oprah’s life lessons. Her new life class is packed with insights. And, it’s a great resource to launch your best. 8) Steve Pavlina – Filled with articles that expand your mind in every area of personal development. His words: “I’m a human alarm clock. I awaken people who are sleeping through life.” His insights have helped me become conscious. 9) I listened to Neale Donald Walsh‘s The New Revelations this year. Answered my ‘religious questions’ that never made sense about what I was taught about God. Bestselling author of “Conversations with God”, I now read his free daily messages..”I believe God Wants You to Know…” Profound way to launch your best. 10) I am starting the year with the 100 Day Challenge with a few friends. Each year I dive into something powerful to keep my energy focused on what I want to accomplish. If you want to join us, email me, and be part of my closed facebook group to share your progress.. 11) Bryon Katie‘s judgment worksheet followed by her 4 powerful questions. Turning your life around to see what you are creating. This site is packed with resources for ending internal struggle, and suffering. Writing my first book Live the Love You Deserve: How Letting go of Criticism, and Practicing Non-judgment Allow You to Experience Eternal Love has been a process of awakening.  Uncovering love at the level of my soul – deep, authentic, fulfilling. Understand what judgment really means when it comes to one another in your relationships. Notice when you are judging yourself. Listen when you hear yourself use the word ‘should’ against yourself: I should have ‘been or done’. You can only ever be and do your best in every given moment. Let go of correcting, convincing, controlling, and trying to change others (my 4 C’s). BE the change instead. That’s a key step to take to launch your best self. Notice when you use your words against others: ‘you should ‘be and do..’ Letting go of making ourselves and others wrong is the most transformative practice you can create in your life. It will give you the freedom to love spiritually, unconditionally, …

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Living in Love Versus Fear

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There is a spectrum on which we all live: love on one side, fear on the other. I call it living in love versus fear. You know which side you live from based on your emotions. Love feels grounded, flowing, abundant, and compassionate with a resonance connected to your spirit. Fear feels anxious, condemning, competitive, scarce, guilty, and disconnected from your spirit. Many emotions along this continuum translate into an energy vibration you are holding- high being love, low being fear. Neither one means you are better or worse than someone else, but your experience, and how others experience you will either be positive or negative, constructive or destructive, loving or unloving. There’s a middle ground. It’s practical. Seemingly wise. Filled with knowledge, but not necessarily truth. It directs your life looking at the circumstances of what is, and has difficulty stretching beyond to the possibilities outside of the box. Somewhere in this mix is where you live searching for your own truth. Can you feel where you are? It’s a choice you may not be aware you’re making. It’s constantly changing, swinging back and forth with your life experiences, but hopefully moving in the direction of love through your own life lessons. Eventually you reach a point where you can trust yourself, and not look to other’s fears and expectations, or old conditioned beliefs that no longer serve you to determine how you should be living your life. Instead you move effortlessly connected to the values true to you hitting bumps along the way you must overcome to reach the other side to an even deeper love. At the beginning of this year I picked a theme: breakthrough. An intention for my life with no idea how it would transpire. I found myself in writing competitions after beginning to write my first book that opened many doors leading to my first publication with best-selling authors. I discovered that love has no boundaries, and is abundant when you can let go of your ego, and fear. I launched my website, attracted an abundance of people who resonate with where I am. Instant connections from all around the globe. I learned a powerful skill of discerning how much truth someone can receive depending on where that individual lives on the spectrum of love versus fear. The more they live on the fear side, the more judgment, and the less authentic I can be. Those who live from love can receive it all. It is profound, deeply connected, and the speed at which love flows continues to amaze me. This morning as I was making lunches, my son blared Adele’s “Set Fire to the Rain”, I took in her voice, its powerful lyrics, the memories it evoked, and listened to the sound of my children laughing, my daughter on the piano sounding out the melody, and felt that love so familiar now flow through my world. This year I want to live further along this side of the spectrum for it has no end – love is eternal. Each moment will be that much more joyful, meaningful, happy, and continue to create the kind of life I want to be experiencing. Spiritual growth attracts experiences that are nothing short of miraculous : ) Are you confused between love vs fear? Do you want to choose love or fear? What will be your theme for 2012?

Judgement and Forgiveness — Judgement: Step 2 of Forgiveness

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In my last blog Finding Forgiveness I talked about judgment and forgiveness. And I also discussed what prevents us from forgiving, and how transcending judgment–looking beyond what is right/wrong or good/evil is a critical first step before you can shift into the energetic space of compassion required for forgiveness.  I explained that judgment of someone happens when we stand in a superior place attached to the attitude of ‘being right’, and seeing someone else as inferior, and how this destructive energy ends up coming right back to you. I’ve successfully coached clients around the topic of judgment and often their experiences are remarkably similar: they are often bewildered and surprised that they suddenly feel less stressed and their connections with others deeper and more fulfilling. I talked to everyone willing to discuss judgment; read countless books and comments on forums paying close attention to how judgment is interpreted. On a personal level, my most enlightening experiences have been the most painful–those of being judged by individuals whose intentions I trusted, and arriving on the other side with a new found inner trust, and heightened sense of consciousness. What I discovered was FASCINATING: on the whole, we are not conscious of when or how we are judging others. There is mass confusion in the use of the word ‘judgment’. We unknowingly create dysfunctional, stress-induced interactions with those around us, especially the ones we love most. Until I leaned into 100% trusting myself, I was setting myself up for betrayal by trusting those who had an inability to trust others. Are you someone you can trust? The Way We Think About Judgement The way we have come to think about judgment is why we hold on to it so tightly, and surrendering it can be such a challenge! This gets complicated, so stay open; my intention is for you to ‘see’ what I am now seeing because it has transformed all my relationships in the most remarkable way. Judgment has developed over the centuries to have several different uses in our conversations. Some of which are the exact opposite. Consider that we use this term to mean ALL of the following: 1. An opinion or belief formed. 2 A conclusion drawn. 3. An assumption made. 4. The ability or capability to make a decision or assess a situation objectively, authoritatively, wisely to draw sound conclusions. 5. Also includes making the above decisions subjectively. 6. A determination of a court of Law. 7. Consequences sent by God for the punishment of sins. So, which is it? We use them all interchangeably. This is the problem. Throw in the fact that we are using judgment to uncover our truth, which is limited to our perception. Then throw in that we judge both people and objects. People respond (understandably in defense), objects do not. If I’m asking you to surrender judgment =to forgive, how can you do that when judgment is also a key ability used to make good decisions? Being ‘judgmental’ is widely understood to mean someone who condemns, and holds contempt, but at the same time can mean a wise person who exercises ‘good judgment’. The Paradox. Distinguishing The Terms Pertaining to Judgement We must get VERY CLEAR on what it means to use judgment by distinguishing these terms. The first 3 uses – having an opinion, making an assumption, drawing a conclusion is not the same as judging someone. Everyone is entitled to think for themselves and will have their own opinions. We also make assumptions to fill in the gaps when we are missing elements of a situation, but must make a decision with what we’ve got to arrive at our own conclusions. When we judge someone we become attached to our opinions, assumptions, and conclusions “being right” and not open to the possibilities available. We make someone wrong with our judgment looking down upon them, and send condemning energy from being attached to our ‘right’ way. 4. above is known as discernment – it is neutral. This is the use that most people mean while talking about judgement and forgiveness and when they think ‘but you have to judge’ or you have ‘right to judge’! Discernment IS objective in the sense that there is no attachment to being right, unlike judgment, which can be subjective. Judgment, when used in a court of law, finds a defendant ‘innocent’ or ‘guilty’. This definition of judgment can attach itself to our own ideas about people being ‘good’ or ‘bad’.  Religion often magnifies the disparity between judgment and discernment where good and evil make their appearance in spiritual texts, and we becomes ‘sinners’ living in fear of being judged. This thinking can be so extreme among religions that people justify killing in the name of God. The shift to love, and compassion transcends judgment. Judgment is so pervasive in our society that we condemn our own children labeling them as ‘bad’ and needing to be punished. This is a fear based approach where judgment is the culprit. How can children BE ‘good’ or ‘bad or BE ‘right’ or ‘wrong’? Have you ever wondered why so many children grow up not feeling good enough? Children are dependent on their parents, caregivers, and teachers, for their nurturing and guidance. It is their words and actions that can be constructive or destructive – not the children themselves. That’s they are needed to taught about judgement and forgiveness from an early age. How Judgement and Forgiveness Affect Our Lives Using judgment in our own lives is what causes so much of the suffering in our world today including the withholding of love, compassion, and forgiveness. It breeds guilt, causes stress, disconnection, and conflict. However, understanding judgement and forgiveness can reduce a lot of stress. Understand that by seeing someone as ‘good’ or ‘right’, and ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’ is a false belief.  Start using the word discernment instead of judgment i.e. #4. above. Stop using judgment to mean opinions, assumptions, and conclusions. Using this one word to encompass all …

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Need to Forgive Someone?

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Are you are holding onto a past disappointment (one that keeps repeating itself)? A grudge against someone? The pain of a betrayal in trust? And, do you feel the need to forgive someone? “It’s their fault if only they could see!” If forgiveness is the way to inner peace, how do we shift to this place, and heal? It requires a paradigm shift in our thinking to embrace a well known, but rarely practiced wisdom… “There is no right or wrong, but thinking makes it so.” ~ Shakespeare We have a need  to ‘be right’ that keeps us stuck in feeling ‘wronged’ by others. It is so powerful, we can’t see it in ourselves. Resentment, stress, bitterness, anger or worse shows up we’ve unknowingly created. Why do we do this? We’ve been wired to look for answers outside of ourselves. We are often searching in black or white (right or wrong, good or evil), but people operate from a spiritual space within of fear or love on opposites sides of a spectrum. What about what someone has said or done that you know is wrong?  Words and behaviour we experience as unloving, unkind, selfish, or destructive we label as ‘wrong’, but when we project that energy of a painful experience, or our ‘right’ onto someone, we shift into judgment. Can sound like: “How selfish, and inconsiderate! They don’t deserve my love, kindness, or respect, and should be punished, taught a lesson. Pay for what they’ve done. They should know better.” We move to a position of superiority, and look down upon someone. We see a person as an object that needs to be corrected, convinced, controlled or condemn (what I call the 4 C’s). We want to change someone based on our “truth”, stepping into self-righteousness yet “truth is in the eye of the beholder”. When you see someone as a human being with their own life-time of social conditioning, beliefs, interpretations, and experiences – you can suddenly see yourself. How can someone choose to be worse than who they are? Our best is all anyone can be. Doesn’t mean your ‘best’ will look anything like someone else’s ‘best’. Notice when you use the word ‘should’ with someone as in “You should be…”. This is you projecting your ‘right’ way onto others. Notice it with yourself. Self-judgment. “I should have…” We create expectations that lead to disappointment. Yes I’m saying let go of having expectations of others! Instead believe everyone is simply doing their best with their own reality, aren’t you? : ) You do not condone someone’s words or actions when you forgive them. This is the belief that keeps you stuck! We can choose to distance ourself, or walk away if someone’s energy is destructive without condemning them. It’s when we condemn others that we suffer. Forgiveness does not excuse destructive behaviour nor does it absolve responsibility, but it is not our lesson to learn. We do not ‘own’ other people to give us the right to force others to behave out of fear, duty, obligation, and projecting your expectations. It can get results, but is it the way you want to be treated? The way you earn respect is not to demand it, but to model it. Fear separates, love connects. We have collective rules, guidelines, values, and ideals in place intended to keep us safe, happy, and living in peace. Not everyone is willing, or wanting your influence. You must discern if someone is ready to see, and hear your truth. The essence of trust comes from your ability to trust yourself, and it requires finding your own truth. Your ability to forgive does not mean others will be remorseful. Many are far away from their spirit (love) from years of verbal abuse, self-judgment, being told they are not good enough, and feeling obligated to live up to expectations desperately wanting what we all do: to be seen, and heard for who we are. They sadly make choices that keep them in the victim mindset of depending on others, and circumstances for their happiness. They falsely believe that others are the cause of their suffering, and don’t know how to trust themselves or others. “God, spare me from the desire for love, approval, or appreciation.” ~Byron Katie Do not believe others cause you to be miserable or feel guilty because they don’t have that power over you. Nor do they have the ability to ‘make you happy’. This is an illusion. Your experience of sadness or joy comes from within. You don’t have the power to change how someone else thinks, you can only influence those who want to change themselves. Would you want anyone imposing their values on you? Trying to convince someone they are wrong automatically puts them on the defensive. No one believes they are wrong.  People make mistakes, it’s how we learn, but being sorry means you are able to see what you are taking responsibility for. The mind can justify anything when you believe you are right. Hitler thought he was right. So did Gandhi. Who was right? Neither one – it’s the wrong question. One lived in fear (ego) – controlling, convincing, correcting, and condemning others, and the other lived in compassion (higher self) – loving, sharing, teaching, modelling. The impact was constructive or destructive. It’s a choice. Saying “I’m sorry things turned out this way, but it was because of this reason, or that person” essentially means “it’s not my fault”.  It being anyone’s fault is another illusion. Taking responsibility is seeing beyond finding fault, and looking to blame. If everyone is doing their best, how can it be someone’s fault? It’s the same as making someone wrong. Focus on whether the words or behaviour results in a constructive (loving) or destructive (unloving) experience. The moment you release judgment, you can step into compassion – a higher level of consciousness where love resides. Doesn’t mean we don’t get angry, frustrated or annoyed. But raving mad, resentful, and speaking words and actions we’ll …

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What Do You Really Want to Experience?

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Have you ever stopped to consider what you really, I mean REALLY want and experience — not what you think you should want? Your deepest desires, what makes your heart sing, the experiences you long for in your soul? Is even wanting this not practical, or realistic? Too much work to contemplate? Can’t have your cake and eat it too? What’s the point of having cake if you can’t eat it? Things in themselves don’t make us happy. People don’t make us happy either. When you light up, and feel your passion radiating, your authentic emotions appear. There is no drama. Life flows. No fear, only love. You attract people who nourish, champion, and support your growth with no expectations, criticism, or judgment. When you become the change you want, the things, and people you want shows up to give you the experience of happiness. Imagine there were no expectations of you, and you let go of your expectations of others. These are your ‘right ways’, and other people’s ‘right ways’ being projected onto you. Our mind grows up believing these ‘right things’ are what we should be, and want. Underneath is something deeper – what our soul yearns for without external influence. Understanding what you REALLY want requires you to break out of your box of the story you were born into. Our limiting beliefs dictate what’s possible to want, and we allow circumstances to hold us back. Notice the ‘shoulds’ in your mind. I should be…? You should be….Are they really true? Where did they come from? Let go of these, and ask yourself, ‘What experiences light me up? If money were no object, what would I choose to do? Dream big. Feel into the emotion of those experiences. Believe it, and only then will you see it. Move with the opportunities, and doors that open now you could not see before. When Sean Patrick Simpson, founder of Alska Publishing in Australia contacted me out of the blue, I could feel the resonance in our first communication. I knew this was a doorway. I was working on getting published, and was offered another extremely similar opportunity to be published in a compilation book -these “coincidences” (there are none) are the “synchronicities” (there were many) that I know to pay attention to now. Click here for my first publication! When you get clear on the experiences you want, your light attracts a similar energy. Become aware of the choices you are making. Do they honour YOUR values? Play outside your comfort zone. The only person responsible for your happiness is YOU, and you are not responsible for anyone else’s – they are. Happiness lives from within. An interesting thing happens..the people, and things who no longer resonate with what you REALLY want begin to fade (sometimes painfully)…your old story ends, and the story you want to manifest begins..

This is Love?

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Do you think… this is love…? My 9 year old twin girls were listening to a popular song on the radio, and asked if I can turn up the volume…”I’d catch a grenade for you…jump in front of a train for you..you know I’d do anything for you. I would go through all this pain. Take a bullet straight through my brain. Yes I would die for you, baby, but you won’t do the same.”  I ask them ‘what do you think of these lyrics? Do you believe this is love — sacrificing yourself for someone?’ I hear myself go into lecture mode about what love really is..they say “it’s ok mom, we just like the music, we don’t listen to the words!” Last week I flew down to Rachael Jayne Groover’s powerful event on feminine spirituality and leadership, check her out: www.theyinproject.com. On the plane I read Leo F. Buscaglia’s classic 1984 bestseller “Loving Each Other: The Challenge of Human Relationships”. Couldn’t put it down because I could not get over how so much wisdom in this book nearly 3 decades later is still missing in our closest relationships. Here’s a nugget from his chapter on jealousy, which feeds into the underlying paradigm of how we can find ourselves criticizing, and judging others: “We forget that we cannot force anyone to meet our needs, to be what we want them to be, do what we want them to do, respond as we would have them respond or feel what we think they should feel. This is a human impossibility, an illusion, a fantasy. Even if the other person concedes to being ‘ours’, at best that is only a figure of speech. Perhaps we must finally accept the fact that we can never possess another human being…We must learn that loving others is to want them to be themselves – painful as it may be – with or without you. After all is said and done, what else can we do but wish them well? Perhaps the greatest love presupposes the greatest freedom.” We believe others SHOULD be and do based on the ‘right’ way we see the world. We try to convince, change, correct and fix another, and make them wrong in the process for being who they are. Instead of sharing, caring, giving, enlightening with no attachment to being right. We stand in a space of superiority; this is what it is to judge another. Judgment is not about seeking your truth, instead we use discernment to determine whether someone is trustworthy or a priority for our time, and energy. Life is too short not to spend it with those who make you laugh, experience joy, and most of all grow. Isn’t the greatest freedom just being with someone who allows you to show up authentically exactly as you are? Someone who can see and hear the real you? Here’s the catch. If someone is being destructive, unloving, unkind, selfish, greedy, judgmental  i.e. not treating someone the way you want to be treated, you must choose to let go of this person or at the least distance yourself to avoid being drained by their negative energy. It feels heavy, and you won’t have the freedom to be who you are. It does not mean you condemn them for no one is better than anyone else – we are all human beings. They are being their best based on what they know, understand, and believe. No one chooses to be worse than who they are. We can have a false sense of needing to belong (be owned by) someone including those who treat us unkind believing this is love. It comes from fear, and differs from wanting to be connected to others where we are all part of one collective consciousness. Only when we let go of our judgment does a space open for compassion, unconditional love, and forgiveness. This is where the miracle, and freedom of love is experienced.

How You Can Begin Manifesting..

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I am soo excited to share with you how you can begin manifesting and tell you that my first ever publication in the ‘What Are You Manifesting Book Series’ is arriving soon, and you can pre-order! Along with 29 authors worldwide including best-selling authors Joe Vitale, and Dr. Fred Alan Wolf, (‘The Secret’), and Success Authority Brian Tracy, we are sharing our real adventures in manifesting to help you create a life you love. My chapter ‘Letting Go of Judgment to Attract What Matters’, is in the ‘Success and Spirituality’ book where I share how judgment can prevent us from stepping into what we truly want. How our ‘shoulds’ can hold us back. When you give yourself permission to follow your heart & soul’s desires – something inside shifts. Practicing non-judgment elevates your energy, models self-care, lets go of other’s expectations, and fears of what others think. Your life becomes your own – 100% your responsibility to create. It is the beginning of transforming your relationships from the surface to authentic, lasting connections. Check out the free on-line community: www.whatareyoumanifesting.com! A free online manifesting course is coming soon : ) The books are a special price as a thank you for all the support you’ve given me along this journey of becoming a writer – a big transition from my accounting days! You can get a signed pre-release copy of ‘Success and Spirituality’ for only $22, a 19% savings off the $27 retail price plus FREE taxes, and shipping. The second book called ‘Health and Happiness’ also features best-selling authors/experts, and the set is only $40, a 26% savings with FREE taxes, and shipping. Will you help support getting my first book out to the market? Get inspired, and start living your adventure of manifesting! Books will available to send in October in time for Christmas and Holiday giving : ) The official launch date where the series hits Amazon.com worldwide is November 1, 2011. Get it now and begin manifesting! HERE WE GO!! MY FIRST PUBLISHED BOOK! THE ADVENTURES IN MANIFESTING DEBUT SET:

Truth is Love

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There is so much illusion of what we believe ‘makes us happy’. I cannot deny the love I feel for others because it is within me. For me, truth is love. It doesn’t fade or change no matter how someone else may feel, act or what they say. I may feel sad or angry about the choices others make. I may have to walk away. I may choose to play on the surface to maintain harmony. But I understand why. It comes down to my value of living my truth from a place of love not fear. Fear of what others think. Fear of not meeting other’s expectations of their ‘right’ and ‘wrong’. I am so committed to living my truth aligned with my values that when I am with others who choose to follow a path that is destructive to themselves and others, I have no choice, but to walk away. I know it is not their fault, and often they are blind to the sabotage they create, but it is still their choice, and their responsibility. I can communicate my truth authentically, but I cannot change them, and who am I to think I should? All I can do is be my own change. It’s when I choose to project my own sense of ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ according to my values onto someone that I feel angry, stressed, resentful, and away from feeling grounded, and at peace. This is judgment. What we do to others we do to ourselves. Letting go of ‘being right’ and instead focusing on ‘what do I value’ has been life changing. When my values align with my own truth from a place of love within me, I am living in integrity. “Conscience imposes itself, and takes you where others want you to go. Integrity calls you, and takes you where your soul wants you to go.” ~Gary Zukav, Spiritual Partnerships You can have a guilty conscience, but you cannot have guilty integrity. The moment I let go of making someone wrong with that need to convince, control, feel justified, better or right, my own judgment lifts, and no matter what anyone else says or does I see it as a reflection of their reality, not mine. I realize it is their responsibility, their free choice for the life they choose. I have a responsibility only for my own, and a desire to share my truth with those wanting to listen. I know my truth from the experiences I attract from choosing to be who I am. It’s a place of abundance, and overflowing love that has me in awe of the life I have created. A life anyone can create. You get to choose. Sexuality is a part of the love we have inside, a passion, and flame. It’s part of our spiritual nature. We feel this side of us most with the people who allow us to be who we are. The illusion of sex is all the ‘outer stuff’ of what attracts people to money, food, drugs, and alcohol – the material world. This is not real, nor does it last. There is enormous judgment around our sexuality. It has created so much violence, ownership, and suffering. It requires practice, but when you let go of judgment, there is something magical that opens up in you. A precious space to be exactly who you are, and to allow others to be who they are. Unconditional love. I may feel sad, or angry, but these emotions belong to me based on my values. We can share them with others, but we cannot project them onto others, and expect them to change. Somehow when I know this is my truth: that love is truth, and truth is love — it always brings me back to being in my peace. Are you following your truth? Share your comments!

What Are You Manifesting?

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I have exciting news. Along this journey of writing my first book: Authentic Connections: How Surrendering Criticism and Judgment Allows Love to Flow in Your Relationships, an incredible opportunity showed up to bring my message of non-judgment to an international audience through a compilation series. It’s something I have found myself doing ever since I got on this spiritual journey: manifesting the most unbelievable things! I share my story of how I manifest here: I know that I manifested being part of this particular series with these amazing authors because of the way it all unfolded: effortlessly, and with synchroncities I can now recognize. Co-founder Sean Simpson of Älska Publishing in Australia (pronounced elsh-ka) contacted me at the exact time I was in my first author competition that included a remarkably similar opportunity to be part of a compilation book with best selling authors. I paid attention. That compilation opportunity materialized within weeks when I made it to the top 25 authors (thanks again for all of you who voted!), but I made a difficult decision to turn that book down to focus on this one to help share my message. After practice you will just FEEL it, and know what to do. (Btw, that competition led me to an even better author competition that I’m currently in!! Eckhart Tolle’s publisher is awarding the winning contract..more manifesting..) In less than 6 months, I’m now published for the first time ever alongside international best selling spiritually minded authors Dr. Joe Vitale, Dr. Fred Alan Wolf (both from The Secret), and Brian Tracy (Business Leadership Coach & Speaker). Wow. Can you imagine if you could manifest the kinds of experiences you want, and they actually became your reality? It’s one incredible ride after the next in the direction you want to go! Älska means ‘Love’, and founders Sarah Prout, and Sean Simpson have exuded authenticity, and love since we first connected. It has been pure joy working with them. Part of how I just ‘knew’. Every day people are able to manifest what they want, attract the kind of people they want surrounding them, and this new series has given us the opportunity to share our true stories of HOW we did it, and so can you! The Adventures in Manifesting Online Hub is www.whatareyoumanifesting.com. Check it out! There’s a FREE Adventures in Manifesting Course and Community you’ll be able to join soon, and I’ll be part of it as well. Today around the world we are sharing this series together, and I’m getting a chance to connect personally with all the authors now too! You can see our bios here. The official launch date is November 1, 2011, but stay tuned for a link where you can order a limited number of signed copies for a special price that includes taxes and shipping that will be available in October. It’s getting difficult to stay connected with hundreds of you that I am in touch with personally, so please type your email in the box below my photo on this page, and we’ll be able to stay in touch : ) So much is happening so quickly now, and I want to be able to share this journey with you as you have been a big part of it! What are you Manifesting? It’s a powerful question. You may be pleasantly surprised as to what ways this question will initiate manifestations in your life. Would love your comments below. What are YOU manifesting today?