Are You Seeking Better Balance?
I’ve always felt connected to the idea of finding a better balance.
I remember someone once saying you can have it all, just not all at the same time.
I took that to mean you had to choose between what was most important, and sacrifice something else, but do you?
A Different Way towards Balance
Life coaching taught me that balance is not about making everything equal in the areas of our life, but rather connecting to our values.
Do you know your top 3 values, and are they finding their way to the top of your life experiences?
Spiritual health and growth is one of my top 3, and it’s what gets the vast majority of my time.
Connecting to this value deeply over the past decade has helped me find a better balance.
Ever since I became a mother to 3 souls, and left my corporate job – it felt like I was forever seeking a balance between raising my children, coaching/writing, and managing everything at home.
Often, it would feel like I was doing a gazillion different things at once without any kind of balance because there never seemed to be enough time!
Eventually, I gave up trying to fit things into any kind of time frame. Instead, I simply focused on what mattered most and went for that.
I added in daily spiritual practices, and somehow it seemed like all the pieces of life “fit in” and flowed forward with relative ease.
Gratitude, living judgment-free, speaking my truth, exercising compassion, patience, understanding, being authentic, and staying out of fear…became my secret weapons.
Last week I was introduced to something that helped me see more clearly HOW I got to a place where I feel well-balanced.
It’s a sweet spot that can be best understood from an ancient Japanese concept called Ikaigai or your “reason for being”.
Here’s what it looks like.
Notice the 4 outer circles.
1) what you love
2) what the world needs
3) what you can be paid for
4) what you are good at
All of these must come together for you to feel in balance or what I call “soul alignment”.
What I realized was this model also applies at home with your children to find better balance!
Think of your role as a parent here instead of your career calling.
If you are a parent, your children are your responsibility in the same way you take responsibility for your career, only it’s an even higher priority – a privilege, and a gift.
Switch out “what you are paid for” for “what you are rewarded for in appreciation, and all the ways your child loves you.
“What you’re good at” must include not just what you do, but who you are as a parent.
The center reflects where your love comes back, and as you grow to be a good parent, you create a child that the world needs.
Where You’re Out of Balance
When you grew up – ask yourself were there any circles missing that would have had your vital early experiences out of balance for you?
I grew up in a very “doing” results-oriented family.
I was longing for a more “being” connection and purpose-driven family.
We need our being to lead the doing for balance.
When one of the four outer circles is missing, you’ll experience your soul being out of alignment in these ways:
1) Satisfaction, but the feeling of uselessness (missing: what the world needs).
2) Delight and fullness, but no wealth (missing: what you can be paid for).
3) Excitement & complacency, but the sense of uncertainty (missing: what you’re good at).
4) Comfortable, but the feeling of emptiness (missing: what you love).
As a mom, my highest priority was my children first, then work.
The other day, my daughters went out for breakfast together and told me after “we talked about how grateful we are that whenever we needed you, you’d drop your work, and make us a priority.”
For the vast majority of their life, I designed my life so that was possible. It wasn’t always, but it was enough.
Pretty much every day I get hugged & feel the love at home : )
All these years, I was secretly wanting them to find this intersection.
My children are all doing what they love, and are good at, and as students, all have been paid for their chosen pursuit …. what the world needs are people who have come alive.
When you achieve Ikigai – your “reason for BEING” means your soul comes into alignment.
How do you know?
Amazing experiences magically flow to you.
You will experience signs and synchronicities.
You will be surrounded by the people you want to be surrounding you.
Your life feels balanced because it’s always moving positively getting better with each passing year despite any messiness you encounter.
The alignment here provides a balance that has the power to withstand whatever chaos shows up.
As you move through your life’s challenges from this place you will keep growing your soul.
That’s why you’re here.
To your spiritual growth,
Carolyn
