How to Be Free

A close friend confided “why wait” got into her head a year ago. It was something I’d been telling her all these years, and a dear friend of hers was diagnosed with cancer.

My friend had spontaneously got on a plane to spend a few days in Florida with her 2 children. She loves to travel, and wants more fun in her life.

She noticed it’s here where she feels free.

Ahhh..freedom from doing what we’re supposed to do. From the expectations of others, the status quo, from needing to please, accommodate, settle.

Trust and go.

It’s a tiny powerful mindshift in facing the limited time we all have.

We don’t want erratic, lack of responsibility, “regret it later” experiences, nor the stress of “OMG — time is running out, I have to go go go” where you can’t even enjoy it.

But reaching out of your comfort zone into the kind of freedom that lets go of controlling, figuring things out first, and needing others to show up ‘your way’  – that feeds your soul.

Ask anyone what they cherish, and you’ll hear “friends, and family”.

Relationships are what matter most. 

My friend shared that she’d wait around for her husband’s vacation time, and sometimes they didn’t end up going anywhere. Plus, planning a vacation took so much time.

Why not just go? Spend time together at unexpected times in your best way possible.

I could SO relate. Not waiting anymore.

I’d given that up a while back being married to an A-type corporate executive where I used to plan everything we did around his schedule. Maybe you can relate?

One day I made a decision: “I’m just going…whether you can come or not.” It started out small. Can’t make it for the family outing we planned? We went anyway.

I had to let go of any resentment I held that he couldn’t make it, and step into the sadness that he ended up missing out.

Same for the school musical our daughter had a big part in. Our son’s drum recital..it’s a choice in life we make that time will not wait. I cannot choose for him.

I encourage him to visit the places he  travels around the world, (he could easily fill all his hours with work, and leave no time for fun), but that was up to him.

A few years ago I also found myself headed to Florida over Spring break with our girls to visit his parents, and Disney – without him. His sister – a 6 hour drive away in Ottawa could join us with her girls.

The memories from this trip with their cousins, my girls will remember forever…

What if I had waited?

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At first it felt a little unfair to my husband, but I was done waiting for his schedule to fit into ours.

I gave myself permission to stop waiting.

I knew this freedom.

Time won’t wait. These cousins have a special bond, and at those ages sharing that experience together only came around ONCE, and I took it. There’s no going back.

My hubby wasn’t angry or upset, but the next Spring break he somehow managed to join us in Florida with little effort on my part. Following what I cherish has a bonus feature: I no longer have to try so hard to make things work the next time : )

Being the Change – it really works.

That’s when the universe starts to move in the same direction you’ve firmly embodied  – when you decide “it’s time”.

It’s been a practice to live my life this way. This in no way means disrespecting anyone, or being demanding or selfish. It’s what most of us fear, which keeps us stuck.

When you simply follow your inner voice that’s true for you – your soul knows what you value.

It’s the ones who do not follow this in their own life where you run into obstacles. There is no resonance here.

Those who care about you deep down want you to be happy, as much as you want that for them. But they also must be choosing for themselves what’s valuable to them so they have the strength to give this space to you.

Give and receive. Not demand, and expect.

If you start to feel like you’re sacrificing your joy for their circumstances, beliefs, or a perspective that’s different to yours – resentment builds you will have to release.

Following your inner voice gives you the freedom of an inner peace of mind. Not following the rules becomes normal. Your best decisions arrive faster.

Life feels in flow.

I’m still someone who likes things organized. I don’t like being hit with unwanted surprises that could have me doing the unthinkable: wasting my time! There’s a practical side of me that’s been merged with “if it feels right, go for it”, and don’t look back.

Somewhere between spontaneity, and being willing to face whatever rough waters you thought were stopping you in the first place is the FLOW of living true to yourself.

The clock ticks louder the moment a loved one faces a life threatening illness or has lost their life. Live as if it’s your last day isn’t the way we wake up in the morning, but we all know this – today could be it. We just don’t all do something about it.

What are you waiting for exactly? Is it worth trying to make it perfect before you get to experience it? Can you make this moment special? It may never come again. How can you make it so valuable you’ll take it with you forever?

I trust myself more, and more as I keep stepping out further into what I most treasure, and who I know myself to be. Freedom. It’s here where you attract, and build the few sacred connections you can trust fully where there are no secrets.

The more I did exactly what I wanted, I noticed that I was silently giving other people permission to do the same. It’s been secretly fun to witness.

Those who accept you for exactly who you are when you are not afraid to follow what most matters to you are yours forever.

It’s the beauty of living your truth: love surrounds you.

Trusting what you desire comes from a place of self-love. It arrived when I stopped waiting for others, and set myself free.

Are you still waiting? Trust, and go for it.

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